


My heart holds not the space nor my mind the words for my love

by WriteForTheSakeOfWriting



Category: The Pinkertons (TV)
Genre: But failing a little, Episode tag S1:ep9 In Marm's Way, F/M, Getting Together, Kate knows more than he thinks, Not Canon Compliant, Will is Trying, With the next episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 00:42:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14152935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriteForTheSakeOfWriting/pseuds/WriteForTheSakeOfWriting
Summary: Will is fully aware that he's in love with Kate. He's also fully aware how inappropriate that is, so he tries to keep it to himself but he wishes he could tell her. Will wishes he could tell Kate how wonderful she is but he'll admit he's afraid of losing her. Will the confidence of another push him to be brave?(Hint: yes)





	My heart holds not the space nor my mind the words for my love

Will knew instinctively that it is beyond inappropriate to think of Kate like this. She's a respectable lady, his partner, a woman who has never expressed any interest in him. And so, he kept a tight grip on his feelings, pushing them far, far down and never allowing them to interfere with his work (the cases are always too important for that) or their relationship (she's far too important to him for him to lose her over an unwanted compliment).

But sometimes, the light caught her hair in a certain way or she gave him that smile reserved for moments when she's genuinely happy with as few cares as she ever has, which he'd learned to recognize it, infrequent as it was. When those times came, he was almost overwhelmed with the wave of love—he had eventually accepted that was what it was—that he could barely get his intended words out and resist telling her how wonderful she is. 

He thought sometimes, when they sat in the Dubois drinking together upon an evening or when she challenged him to shooting competitions to encourage him to practice and beat him every time, about how he would tell her. He would tell her how incredible she is, how brave she was to spy for the Union and to fight a world that has never valued her for what she is worth. How incredibly smart she is, with her experiments and seemingly limitless knowledge of so many areas, from chemistry to history to botany, and how he could spend hours just listening to her talk about her passions. And finally, how beautiful she is, how her smile warms every room and her eyes hold an entire world in them that he desperately wishes to explore.

In the end, he told her none of those things (initially at least). Instead, his revelation came after the case with Marm, and the search for her so-called nephew. 

Another of those holding-himself-so-tightly-he-feared-he-may-snap moments had occurred during their investigation. It had happened when they stood in Ms. McGoldrick's room discussing how the stories they had been told about the alleged assault simply did not hold up. In agreement with Kate as to Marm's duplicity, even if neither of them predicted its depths, he had prepared to respond to her suggestions. But he had paused, words caught in his throat as she laid out the case before them, far better than he ever could.

Watching her frown as she stood there, hair loose around her shoulders, still dressed in her surveillance disguise, and displaying her incredible detective instincts, Will had thought again how wonderful she was and how lucky he was to simply have her in his life. Clamping down on his inappropriate thoughts about his partner—while they were working no less—he had finally replied and they had returned to work, eventually solving the case. 

His confession to her had come several weeks after the resolution of the case and Marm's deserved—but still difficult to watch—execution: John's friend Aldred had finally been released from the hospital and the two of them had accompanied him there to help Aldred move into his new room at the Dubois.

John had stood next to Aldred as he slowly sat and pulled on his boots and jacket, John's hands almost reaching for him as Will's own had so many times when Kate had been just out of his reach. Recognizing it, Will had gently pulled Kate away once they had Aldred settled in his new room at the Dubois. As the door closed behind him, Will saw John sit in the chair by the bed, where Aldred had near-collapsed, exhausted as he was, and turn to his friend. Both were reaching, seemingly instinctively, for the other's hands and John was talking quietly. 

Suddenly feeling brave, Will sat beside Kate as she sank heavily onto the bar stool, ordering them both a drink as she adjusted her coat and skirts. 

"Kate?"

"Yeah, Will?" She was searching through her bag now after placing her hat on the counter. 

That her attention was not focused on him now gave him the confidence to suddenly tell her everything. 

"Kate, I think you're wonderful." He glanced down at his untouched whiskey and swallowed hard. "I think you're brave and smart and what I'm trying to say is-"

He was interrupted suddenly as Kate reached for him, saying his name quietly as she framed his face with her hands. Turning his face towards her, she traced his cheekbone gently with her thumb. His words dried up in his throat and all he could do was stare at her, closer now than she had ever been.

Will blinked and allowed his glance to flicker to her lips and then back to her eyes, finding her looking back at him with eyes full of joy, still running her thumb along his cheekbone as if she never wanted to stop.

Then, after what Will realized could have been only seconds, she leaned forward and kissed him gently. As soon as his brain caught up, he kissed her back firmly. Reaching for her, he placed one hand on her waist and the other in her hair, gently tangling his fingers in her braids. Her hands cupped his face, almost imperceptibly more confident.

For a moment or two, Will stopped thinking, the dull ache of his feelings for her finally silenced, and Kate became again his whole world.

A cough from Annalee brought them back to the Dubois, where, if not for the early hour, they would have likely caused a great stir. Instead, with the majority of customers focused on themselves and their drinks, not the business of others, there had been little more than a few raised eyebrows and turning of seats. Still, both of them felt suddenly exposed.

Kate and Will glanced at each other, seeing a reflection of their own blushes. They turned back towards the counter and their drinks, Kate smiling gently and Will grinning broadly despite himself. Regardless of attempts to the contrary, they found themselves glancing at each other and then away like schoolchildren caught passing notes across the room until Annalee interrupted their awkwardness with the thump of glasses down the counter and a pointed glare when they turned to look at her. Reminded of himself, Will rose and shook out his jacket, returning his hat to his head. He turned to Kate and offered her his hand. Blushing still, she took it and stood. They walked out of the Dubois together, heads held high despite their flushed faces.

"I do, you know." He murmured as they passed through the saloon door and out onto the street. 

Kate turned to him, frowning slightly, even as he squeezed her hand tightly as they walked to their horses. 

"Think you're wonderful," he continued, smiling at her as they drew close to the horses, "And I'll tell you every reason why just as soon as you let me." He continued to gaze at her, enjoying every moment he could do so without fear of scaring her away.

Kate flushed but fought the urge to look away. Instead, she held eye contact to force herself to accept this was real, Will felt the same way she did. Will stepped towards her, kissing her quickly, before stepping away to mount his horse. Kate followed suit and they made their way back to her farm. 

They sat at her kitchen table drinking tea, still alternately blushing and looking away. Eventually, Will stood and remarked aloud on the lateness of the hour. He wished her goodnight, his heart beating an uneven and frantic beat as he forced himself to step away from her, turning to put on his coat and his hat.

But as he turned back he found Kate there, so very close. With great control, he held himself still, panic not yet abated. Gently, almost timidly, she raised her hands to his shoulders and kissed him again.

That eternity was over almost before it had begun as she stepped away, blushing and looking at him with a small, shy smile. Shy though her smile was, Will noticed the joy in her eyes and the confidence in her stance. He smirked at her, causing her to roll her eyes. She glanced back at him immediately after though and Will saw fondness there, rather than the uncalled for derision and perhaps called for distrust they had begun their partnership with.

Finally, he turns away, opening the door and shivering a little as he walks out into the cool winter air. He glances back, can't help himself, and Kate is stood there, framed in the open doorway by the soft yellow light. He can see, even as he walks away, the smile that tugs at the corners of her lips and lifts her eyes.

He thinks to himself then, that this is not the end he had feared it would be.

It feels like the beginning of something.

**Author's Note:**

> Still trying to work on my Soulmate AU fics but this idea got stuck in my head and wouldn't go away till I wrote it *shrugs*


End file.
